Crisis of Faith

What’s it all really about? I grew up devout Catholic. I went to Church all the time and have always loved certain aspects of Catholic worship. I love Gregorian Chant music. I love incense spread around in church. I love singing and choirs. I have always revered Christmas.

Then, Bill Maher came along. Now, actually, I like a lot of what he says but I detest the way he mocks and scoffs at people because they have religious faith. I think we need to respect other peoples’ beliefs and I think he is dead wrong in his attitude and approach to it.

However, he had a film he came out with a while ago. Religiosity or something like that. I never saw it but I remember a trailer I saw – he asked something along the line of if God is all powerful, they why send his son to earth to be brutally tortured and killed just to redeem sins? Why not just snap his fingers and redeem them? Much nicer and not brutal or painful. As I thought about it, there is some merit to that question. Why indeed? If God made the rules, why not just use his huge finger to flick Adam and Eve for eating the apple and make new people? Why not just make the rule that everyone will be good? Why not make a rule that bad things can't happen to good people? Why not make a rule that innocent people are left alone? Why not snap his fingers and make the devil be good? Don't you think there were an incredible lot of prayers going up on 9/11? What happened with that? Shoot, even the fire department priest was one of the first ones killed. That doesn't make sense.

Now, I'm not saying I've changed my beliefs or I don't believe anymore. I'm simply saying that I think there is a functioning brain on top of my shoulders inside that cranium and it comes up with a lot of questions. I've talked to my dogs about this stuff but they are no help whatsover talking through things. So, here I am.

In the history of Christianity and organized religion there is a lot of hypocrisy and outrageous things going on. Remember the Crusades? Look at Bin Laden. Look at all of the terrible things that have been done over the years in the name of religion. And still today. Bans on gay marriage, laws against being gay, death penalties proposed for it. All in the name of religion. There is no doubt that human history is replete with gross examples of terrible things visited upon others in the name of religious beliefs. I feel certain that this is the premise behind Maher’s attitude. Of course, look at the violence in the Old Testament. Whew! That didn’t sound as much like a loving God as a royally pissed off God. (Speaking of which, ever wonder what it’ll be like when we die and get to heaven and find out God is really, really pissed off at us for depicting her as a man all of these years?)

On the other hand, a lot of good has come from it, too. Moral codes basically find their genesis in religious beliefs. I think there is no doubt that religion fulfils a basic need for humans to keep going. I mean, what would the world be like if everyone believed that life ends when we take our last breath? I think there would be widespread chaos, panic, fights over anything that suggests it might prolong life. I think throughout history people have devised religious beliefs to give themselves something to look forward to. It’s really depressing to think, with all that we face on a daily basis in this life, that this might be all there is. We all want to be able to carry on – to be reunited with those we have loved so much. We don’t want to think that those we have lost are lost forever. When someone dies heroically we want to think that there is some reward for that. When some horrendous person gets by with horrible things and dies we want to think that there is some punishment for it. How many people bemoan the fact that Hitler never had to face the music for all that he did? Some moron goes in and shoots and kills lots of innocent and good people then kills himself. How many people hate the fact that he got out without facing justice for what he did?

So, I think that in an effort to prolong our lives, the only way we can think of to do that is to develop a set of beliefs that show us that life does, indeed, go on. So, the question, what is that all about? I can’t say that I have made a study of paganism or theism or anything else. But, look at history. Belief in the Sun God, Wind God, Rain God, the Greek gods, great spirit, etc., etc. Whether exposed to Christianity or not, people have developed a set of beliefs to answer the perplexing question – what’s it really all about? In that way we insure that when this life is over we will continue to live – a mode of immortality if you will.

Then there’s hitting that deer more than a year ago – that really upset me. I have always been taught that whatever befalls us is in God’s great plan. So, what was the purpose in that plan of having that deer jump out in front of my car and me strike it? Maybe it was diseased and it was a way of putting it out of its misery? OK. But why make it take about 10 minutes for it to lay there in the road, struggling to get up with it’s broken back, unable to get up and flee, scared to death, slowly bleeding to death? I don’t care what you say – I can fashion no legitimate reason for that to happen. None. If it was to damage my car, let me hit an inanimate object – there were plenty of trees and phone poles along that road. A flat could have accomplished that. What kind of loving God inflicts such a terrible thing on something as innocent as a deer? And, speaking of that, what about the way wild animals kill other animals to eat them? Is there anything merciful about that? All of those critters try valiantly to stay alive and get away and many of them meet terrible, horrendous, brutally painful and fearful deaths. All of them want nothing more than to live. What’s that all about? What’s the point? If God created all of these animals, why not make them all vegans or let them feed off of dead animals who die of natural causes only? When we go fishing, why is it necessary for the fish to slowly die, all the while struggling to get away and struggling to breathe? We trap mice – ever think about mouse families? Many critters live in familial relationships, just like we cherish. If you hit a possum on the road, why is it the next day a second one is generally found nearby? Maybe something about the fact that they were loving mates? And, what about Hitler? What in hell was the plan that permitted the infliction of that horror on so many Jewish people? What they went through is just unimaginable. Yet, here we were, a great Christian nation, just sitting by, watching that go on and doing nothing about it for so long. You think that was just another generation? See any signs around saying things like Stop Darfur? Where are all of the deeply religious people demonstrating every day and demanding that something be done immediately to bring that crap to a screeching halt? Where are the religious leaders making that the primary thing they talk about every week? We worry about our own every day things and seem oblivious to the incredible suffering other people in other places in the world endure every moment of every single day. It really makes me wonder if maybe all of this belief in God is just a fantasy to enable us to think that we will never die – we’re immortal.

I grew up being taught that if you are good and die without sins on your soul, you will go to heaven. If you die with mortal sins on your soul you will go to hell forever. If you die with venial sins on your soul you will go to purgatory and suffer them off. I mean really – die with a venial sin on your soul and suffer – or just a moment before you die all you have to say is “God, I’m sorry, please forgive me” and zip – off to heaven it is with you. And, God forbid that you are an infant whose parents are not fast enough to get you baptized before you die of SIDS. If you are baptized, you go to heaven. If you die before someone pours water over your head and says “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” then you don’t qualify for heaven – you are, strictly speaking, a pagan. So, you go to limbo. Limbo. Forever just held there – not bad, not good, just in between because, through no fault of your own, no one bothered to pour water over your head and speak magic words. Then, to top it off, just a few years ago the Catholic Church announced that we had done away with Limbo. It no longer existed. Say what? Didn’t God devise these four destinations – heaven, hell, purgatory and limbo? Then who are we to make one of them cease to exist? And where’d all the pagan babies go now? Maybe purgatory can be dealt away with as easily? Then, how about eliminating hell? Sure would enable us to relax a lot more. If that’s the case, how real is heaven? Besides, why hasn’t my Mom or my Dad come back and reassured me about the next life? How do we know that, if we have someone appear before us, it’s not just a dream?

For a long time I think I have kind of figured I should play the odds. If there is a God and I don’t believe during my life, there’s “hell” to pay when I die. Whereas, if there is no God but I spend my life believing there is, then when I die it won’t matter – I won’t ever know it. There’s no punishment for believing in something that’s not there.

And, the idea of heaven forever – what . . . sitting around in white robes in the clouds, worshiping God forever? What’s that amount to? Are we on our knees all the time before him? Honestly, that doesn’t sound terribly fun. What do we do when we get there? We’re just loaded with happiness and bliss all the while doing absolutely nothing? I mean, really, isn’t there a better angle than that? Isn’t there something more to believe in? Do they have golf, dancing, music, plays, oceans, waves, sunrises and sunsets, mountains, deserts, birds, animals, making love? Are there boyfriends and girlfriends? Seriously, who’s to say it’s not just like someone turns off a light switch and we stop thinking, sensing, feeling? Man, that’s depressing but what evidence do we really have showing otherwise? We have all this stuff we’ve been taught for all our lives – but how much of what we’re told is really nothing more than a recitation of pagan practices that were adopted to win over pagans during early Christian history? Virgin birth? Wasn’t that just a pagan belief that that’s how heroes came about? And what about Mary getting pregnant on December 8th and 17 days later having a full term baby (December 25th)? Isn't that just a bit abbreviated?

And what's the deal with everyone has to believe the same way? If God just wants us to worship her, what's wrong with doing it different ways? (I'm reminded of the old Rick O'Shay comic strip when I was young - for Easter, everyone kept asking Sheriff Rick's friend, the gunslinger, to come to church with them but he declined - then after everyone was inside the church, he got on his horse, rode up into the hills, came upon a gorgeous scene overlooking the hills and valleys and got off his horse, knelt down and started explaining to God that he really thought this was where he was at, not inside some wooden church.) So why would someone be punished for eternity for worshipping in a different way if they were genuine and devoted?

This is just an accumulation of the kinds of things that roll around in my head every day. Not really profound, and certainly no answers. I’m just wondering – and wondering – and wondering – what’s all this really about? These are just some preliminary thoughts. More later, I feel certain. In the meantime, I think I'm going to try to learn some stuff about Buddhism. They seem a generally mellow lot, don't you think? Besides, don't they pay homage to a dude who developed a huge pot belly? Can't be all bad if they are accepting of that, right? ~~where's that second piece of pie?~~

On healthcare and "socialized" medicine

OK. That did it. I'm fed up with people trashing the concept of "socialized" medicine or government run healthcare.

I served in the Marine Corps in Vietnam. When I was on active duty, if I needed any healthcare I could go to any military medical facility in the country or anywhere else in the world - I would be admitted without question and could receive some of the best care available in the world. If I fell ill and was not near a military medical facility, I could, and in fact did, go to a civilian hospital. All I needed to do was to show my military identification card and I was treated without any question about how I would pay for the treatment. I could receive any of the medical care provided by that facility and its doctors without having to pay out of pocket for it.

As a veteran, I now receive my healthcare from the VA. Again, I can go into any VA medical care facility anywhere in the country and I am readily taken in for treatment without question asked. I can receive any of the care that is available in that facility. I have found the healthcare I received from the VA (I have been treated in different geographic locations and a total of six different facilities in three states in the past three years) to be every bit as good as the care I received from privately insured health care. If a particular test or treatment is not available in the local VA medical facility, I am sent to a public medical facility for it. When I have gone to the public facility, I was admitted without any question and without having to come out of pocket to pay for it. I was not asked how I would pay for it. I didn't have to sign anything promising to be personally responsible for the charges.

What is really spectacular is that where ever I am in the country, when I go into a VA healthcare facility, they have access to my entire medical record. If I am brought into a VA emergency room unconscious, they will know immediately what medications I am on, what care I have been under, what lab results have been and what I am allergic to. If you are traveling in another part of the country, even with the best insurance available to you, what do you think the chances of that are?

My military healthcare and my VA healthcare are, in the simplest terms, "socialized medicine." When opponents talk about it they make socialized medicine or government run healthcare a big bogeyman, using comparisons to problems in the Canadian or British healthcare systems. They can look at other systems elsewhere in the world all they want. I’d prefer to assess how good that care would be by looking at what the military and VA do.

Sure, sure, you say, but look at the problems at Walter Reed and in the VA healthcare system. I agree. There are problems in both systems of healthcare. There are also serious problems in private healthcare. The rates of nosocomial infections (infections acquired while undergoing medical care) are outrageously high. The Journal of the American Medical Association reports that "(f)or every 100 patients admitted to US hospitals in 2002, 4.5 patients developed a nosocomial infection." In the 1990's the National Institutes of Health reported that a 12-year University of Iowa study concluded that "(n)osocomial bloodstream infections occur at a rate of 1.3 to 14.5 per 1000 hospital admissions and are believed to lead directly to 62,500 deaths per year in the United States." Nosocomial infections are a leading cause of death in the U.S. with estimates ranging as high as 105,000 per year. (Walk into any VA healthcare facility and see what you find - disinfectant hand wipe dispensers hanging everywhere as well as handwashing signs posted where everyone, providers, patients and visitors, see them. I've never seen anything like that in a public hospital or private doctor's office.)

The Centers for Disease Control maintains an entire section devoted to reducing the incidence of nosocomial infections. Beyond nosocomial infections, it is reported that in the years 2000, 2001 and 2002 there were an average of 195,000 people who died in each one of those years due to in-hospital medical errors.

Nope, I think, all things considered, that socialized medicine might just be a good idea for us to pursue in our effort to provide good quality healthcare to all Americans. When we accomplish that, I believe that we will find that the cost of healthcare is dramatically reduced and the quality of life in America is dramatically improved for everyone. But, don't just listen to me - see what others are saying about the quality of VA healthcare (American Journal of Managed Care) and comparisons between VA and private sector healthcare (VAWatchdog dot org.)

"Sarah Palin's" performance

See? Tina Fey did a pretty good job and managed to somewhat rehabilitate Sarah Palin's image. Although, I do think it was a bit tacky of her to do that winking stuff. Really, Tina, don't you think that was just a bit over the top?

Sarah Palin will excel in the debate Thursday night

Oh ye of little faith. Do you really believe that John McCain would permit Sarah Palin to go into a debate with Joe Biden armed with only her keen intellect and her unbridled interest in world affairs? I mean, I know he's old but I don't think he is senile yet.

No, we will experience an October surprise Thursday night.

The McCain campaign has hired Tina Fey to fill in for Sarah Palin in the debate.

I'm betting that we'll see an exciting debate after all.

Why I favor a "flat tax"

I know, I know, it makes me sound nuts. No, wait. Let me explain.

We, the taxpayers, are bailing a bunch of corporations out of the mess they have made for themselves. I propose that we levy a strict flat tax on the compensation and benefits for all of the corporate heads of any corporation we are bailing out. If the CEO walks away with a golden parachute valued at $53 million, why, just let that CEO deposit 90% of that with the Treasury Department.

That's all.

Pretty wise, huh?

Sarah Palin and Lindsay Lohan

Who would have thought that it would take Lindsay Lohan to do what we've been waiting for the media to do - put Sarah Palin into proper perspective?

Lindsay has her blog on Myspace - Lindsay posted yesterday:

Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow
minded, media obsessed homophobe?

She also asked rhetorically:

Is it a sin to be gay?

Or to use birth control?

Or to have sex before marriage?

Now, I don't know about you but I suspect I know the answer to the latter question. And, I am not talking about her 17 year old pregnant daughter.

No, this weekend some of the cable channels ran a profile on Palin - one of the things they pointed out was that Palin gave birth to her son 8 months after she got married.

Hmmm. Now, I don't profess to be a math whiz or anything but isn't there a missing month in there somewhere?

Maybe she only thinks it's a sin if you or I have sex before marriage.

John McCain and Google

I have to give credit where it is due. Craig Ferguson pointed this out the other night.

It seems that John McCain has finally figured out how to conduct a google search on the computer.

The first thing he found on the internet was a Veep candidate.

I guess that's what we get for goading him about not knowing anything about computers.